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05/14/2012 07:10 AM
You Might Be a Redneck with a Disability If...
* Any part of your wheelchair is painted in camo
* You have a wheelchair up on blocks in your front yard.
* You rigged up a beer cooler powered off your chair batteries.
* You wear cowboy, biker, or work boots, even though they're hard to put on and you can't walk anyway.
* You adjusted your headrest so it'll stop knocking off your hat.
* You installed a gun rack on the back of your wheelchair.
* Your joystick [which does not live up to its name] is a billiard ball, car stick shift knob, beer tap, or similar item.
* You ever thought about jacking your chair up 2 or 3 feet.
* You have knobby mud tires - that never get dirty.
* You installed a sound system so your chair will sound like a truck or hog.
* You installed a whip antenna just so you could fly the stars and bars!
* There is a 'Harley' decal or emblem permanently attached to your chair.
* You installed a CB behind or under your chair.
* You replaced your seat with a Barco Lounger.
* You found the above Barco Lounger at the side of the road.
* You named your chair 'Bubba', 'Junior', 'Daisy', or 'Killer'.
* There is some part of a deer decorating any part of your chair.
* You have ever thought about smuggling moonshine in the tubing or battery compartment of the chair.
* You, while in your wheelchair, ever made any roadkill.
* The accessories hangin' on the chair weigh more than 1/3 what your w/c does.
* You browse truck catalogs looking for ways to soup up your wheelchair.
* You want to add a side-car or a 'sweet little trailer'.
* You wear a 4 pound belt buckle that cuts into your stomach as you sit.
* The fringe of your jacket or strings of your bolo tie have ever gotten caught in your wheels - but you wear it anyway.
* You regularly call up Harley Davidson and ask when they're going to start making wheelchairs.
* You have spent more than an hour trying to figure out how to hang fuzzy dice from your chair.
* Duct tape plays a major role in your repair and maintenance plan.
* You read this list and found yourself thinking, at any point, "Now that's a good idea!"